I Will Not…

1.       Hit the snooze button when waking up.
2.       Check email first thing in the morning.
3.       Answer every phone call that comes in at all hours of the day.
4.       Mindlessly surf the Internet.
5.       Waste time gossiping.
6.       Argue with colleagues about non-work-related topics.
7.       Consume food or drinks that make me tired or unwell.
8.       Wear a visor
9.       Sport the socks/sandals combo
10.    Have girl posters on my bedroom wall
11.    Drive a car with word graphics or a loud muffler
12.    Go to malls to “chill” or “hang out”
13.    Be reckless with my credit
14.    Dress in character to go to the movies
15.    Hit on my friends’ kid sisters
16.    Use smileys, internet acronyms, or jargon
17.     Waste my nights on non-productive activities
18.    Forget my right to vote, nor my responsibility of donating and volunteering
19.   Have my baseball cap pointing backward
20.   Take sports accessories to games
21.   Wear sleeveless shirts outside of my backyard
22.   Take on assets that do not pay dividends – such as sports cars
23.   Razz anyone at sports or entertainment events
24.   Look for girls that are more than two years younger, or five years older than me
25.   Pick Maxim over GQ
26.   Plant me on the couch to watch multiple hours of television
27.   Shoot “thug lean” while driving